unthematic french casino
times and seasons, a-changin’
The drips of sweat sliding down the brow of this ATX-y collective has slowed almost to nonexistence. Temperatures below 90 degrees are becoming less abnormal…during daylight! And I been rollin with changes of my own.
I have tried to hold back on the bee-log as I have been finding it hard to stop thinking about my work. I try to ensure that most of my communication outside of work is work-free, but the excitement and anxiety combo is entirely too heady. I am at once touched by the passion of creating something new, beloved and exciting and haunted by previous experiences watching something fall to pieces.
I want to do everything I can to help make sure the former endures and the latter fades back into memory’s periphery. It has made it difficult for me to sit idly by or keep my fuckin’ mouth shut when I ought.
My single-minded determination to ensure satisfaction and kick ass has definitely found me grinding my teeth while sleeping - I think I have managed to scale this back slightly due to working less shifts and adapting more to ending the night and letting it all go. But still. Yikes.
Non-work-related info! Yes! I am striving to have a life once more. I have been doing a fair amount of nocturnal cooking in recent days. At the beginning of the week, I whipped up a fierce batch o’curry, enough to feed a small army for many days. I started at around ten and finished a bit after midnight. Last night, however, I tapped a team of roommates and prepped a veggie lasagna for tonight between the hours of 3 and 5 am - after working a 14 hour day! Yes, it’s true, I am incredible and small rivulets of adamantium can be found in my bloodstream.
I am trying to remember what I am doing this all for - fix my car, fix my body, fix my LIFE (truly, the more a propos FML for a new age!) and take a little time to get outta dodge. I was gunning for LA to reunite with my first wife with a side of beach vacation, but my baby bro is recently relocated in North Carolina and the tix are almost identically priced. I think the spirits will I get me to there - a world unknown and a new and exciting chapter in exploration of the south?! YESPLZ!
Otherwise it’s all party party party, work work work, eat eat eat, smoke smoke smoke. You know.
